movement as self-love…celia shares
I received this email last week from a client named Celia, and the funny thing is that same day, I saw the same meme they share here. I almost saved it to post for be.come, but then I realized it doesn’t apply. Our movement is fun and more often than not. I was happy to see someone else was on the same page.
Here’s the email:
I saw this meme the other day and thought, “haha yeah, totally relatable,” and scrolled past it but then I paused for a second and realized that’s how I used to feel; now (with be.come) I feel the “after” sentiment while I’m moving (especially once I’ve done the routine a few times and can really flow with it) as well. And sometimes I’ll feel that way navigating life (when I notice I’m engaging certain muscle groups) which is a pretty new experience for me.
Exercise, for a while, was almost a form of punishment I inflicted upon myself. I used it to try to take control of a body with which I felt completely out of touch. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life and while regular movement has always been important for maintaining my mental health, the way I used to push myself was unsustainable and unfulfilling.
I think I had a twisted idea of self love; I didn’t think I’d be able to start from the inside because I’d internalized a lot of the stigma around individuals with mental health issues. I convinced myself that if I liked the way I looked, I’d start to like who I was as well. I saw my mental health as a weakness and rather than confronting that, I redirected my energy toward something I viewed as more achievable. As a result, I would push myself too hard and walk away with the same emptiness I felt before. I was impatient with myself and would regularly burn out, which I used as ‘proof’ that I was worthless and weak.
Be.come feels like such a gift because it has fundamentally shifted the way I feel about exercise AND (more importantly) the way I treat myself. I notice that I am more patient with myself and on days that I have to modify, I choose to see that as me being in touch with my body’s needs. Back in January I felt a little silly saying, “I can do it, I can do it,” at the end because I didn’t have too much faith in myself… but holy shit, that message and the whole structure of be.come has really helped me shift perspective. For the first time in I don’t even know how long I feel strong, capable, and worthy. Of course, there are still rough days/weeks for me but this has been such an important constant in my personal healing process.
I cannot thank you enough for sharing this with the world; you are a phenomenal trainer, an excellent role model, and an all-around magnificent human being.
Now go get in some self-care and have an excellent week. As always, continue to share your stories with me so that I may share them with others.
xx – Bethany