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“Some days we feel good about our body, some days we feel bad about our body, but on all days we can respect our body.” -Bethany C. Meyers

Today, when asked how I was feeling before starting #thisweeksroutine, I reluctantly put in self-conscious. I woke up feeling extremely anxious, to the point where I didn’t want to face anybody or leave my apartment. Instead of turning to either unhealthy coping mechanisms or forced positive affirmations to deal with my anxiety, I decided to seek solace in one of my favorite sacred spaces, the be.come project. Looking at my screen and the choices in front of me, I didn’t want to admit the way I truly felt to myself. But then I remembered the powerful quote from Bethany about how no matter what we are feeling about ourselves, we can always choose to respect ourselves. 

As a professional ballet dancer, I am used to being on an endless quest for an unattainable ideal of perfection. I love my art form, and I am incredibly thankful to get to express and immerse myself in beautiful music and movement for a living. It has, however, also brought me a lot of struggle and turmoil in terms of how I feel about myself and my body. I have dealt with anxiety and depression for many years, and worrying about what other people think of me and the way I look has often been debilitating.

I discovered the be.come project last August during my summer break from performing. After a few months of not performing or rehearsing, I was feeling extremely nervous about getting back into shape in time to start rehearsals for my upcoming season. I’ve always had trouble sticking to a routine outside of the ballet studio, especially during long breaks. I would try a workout, set unrealistic expectations, panic when they didn’t happen immediately, feel too anxious to keep trying, and then get angry with myself for not being more motivated. The moment I looked into the be.come project, I knew it was different. I loved Bethany’s approach of working out because we love our bodies, not because we hate them or want to change anything about them. Most workouts focus on how you want to look, but doing the be.come project was the first time I considered how I truly felt. This was an incredibly empowering moment for me, and has completely changed my relationship with my body and with myself. 

the be.come project is now a place I can go to reset when I’m feeling down, and is a place I can go to celebrate when I’m feeling happy and inspired to move. It is there when I’m motivated, it is there when I’m tired, and it is always waiting for me with open arms after times I may need a break. It brings me focus, clarity, and power. One of my favorite aspects (besides the kick-ass routines!) is also the sense of community. Bethany has created such a beautiful, open, honest, and inclusive space where people feel safe and empowered to show up as themselves. I love hearing other people’s stories of how the be.come project has helped them, and I find strength and comfort in knowing that I am not alone on this journey of becoming.