getting started at the be.come project

Welcome to the be.come project! We couldn’t be happier to have you as part of our community. We’d love to help ease you into taking your first session with this video from our founder and your instructor, Bethany C. Meyers (because let’s be honest, new things can be intimidating!)

Our body-neutral and inclusive approach to fitness will probably be a little different than what you are used to, and we are pretty sure you are going to love it. We aren’t here to capitalize on your insecurities or tell you that you aren’t enough. In fact, we’re here to do the exact opposite. Our 25-minute, pilates-inspired routines use movement as medicine, encouraging you to feel good, find the calm and most importantly, respect your body.

Because our routines are smartly-crafted, alignment-based, low-impact and easily altered, we cater to a range of fitness levels and body types. Our foundation tutorials address a variety of concerns including knee pain, wrist pain, proper lunge form and how to be.come while pregnant. Check them out here.

So without any further ado, let’s get you taking your first session.

logging in…

There are two ways to access the routines – through our app, or through our web experience (aka: via your phone or computer).

on the web experience:

- Head to our website.
- Click login at the top right.
- Enter your email and password.
- You’re in!

on the app:

- Download our app: iPhone / Android.
- Enter your email & password.
- You’re in!

the be.come project schedule:

We have a different approach to our routines at the be.come project. Instead of a library of videos that can lead to the Netflix syndrome (aka: endless scrolling without selecting) we feature a weekly routine that is designed to be done repetitively. Why one routine a week? The aim is to help you learn the moves faster and more efficiently, so that after a few rounds, the sessions morph into meditation. And with our weekly tutorials, you can ask routine specific questions to help improve your form.

- A new routine is released every Monday at 12am (EST). We call it #thisweeksroutine. It will be in the number 1 video spot for 7 days.
- Submit your questions about the routine on Monday and Tuesday via email or instagram.
- Every Wednesday, Bethany will answer your questions in a weekly tutorial.
- At the end of 7 days, a new routine is released and #thisweeksroutine moves to the number 2 video spot, which we call #lastweeksroutine.
- This means at any given time, you have two routines to choose from and master!

Taking a session...

Step 1: Set your movement goal for the week. How many sessions do you want to take? What’s important is that you choose a number that’s comfortable for you. If you would rather not participate in goal setting, just choose “0”!

Step 2: Unlock your routine by checking in with how you feel. You can choose up to 3 emotions that we provide, or you can enter your own.

Step 3: Start your routine!

video tips and tricks…

Be sure you explore the bottom toolbar of the video player.

- Click the arrows to jump backward 15 seconds or fast forward 30 seconds.
- Click the music note to adjust the volume of the music to your preferred level. Turn it all the way up to only hear music. Turn it all the way down to only hear instruction.
- Click the checkmark once you are done with your session.

you did it!

- Before you go, smile at your demos in the videos. They are real life clients just like you! Notice how we do not edit out mistakes / wobbles / blunders. We like to keep it real.
- To count your session toward your weekly goal, select your post-routine emotions. This is a great opportunity to begin to understand how movement affects your mood.

connect with us:

We have an incredible online community and we’d love for you to be part of it.

To get inspired, access weekly playlists and chat with Bethany, follow us on Instagram HERE.

To connect with other clients, join our private Facebook group HERE.

March 17, 2020September 21, 2021

COVID-19 relief gift card

We have been working on ways to help get the be.come project in the hands of people who have been affected by COVID-19. We have contemplating / stressing over how to help people get be.come in their hands, while still holding onto the knowledge that our investor-free, small-business does not have the means to give it all away for free. We also know that movement is vital when it comes to curbing anxiety (especially movement framed from a body-neutral POV) and pretty much everyone is stuck without their gym / studio. We are proud to say, we’ve come up with a solution.

IF YOU ARE IN BETWEEN: We are offering $5 off your first month. Sign up with the promo code: staysafe.

IF YOU ARE ABLE TO SUPPORT:

Click HERE to purchase one month of be.come for $30 (normal price is $35). Purchase as many months as you like. the be.come project will match every single COVID-19 relief purchase to double the impact, while spreading movement and compassion in a time when we need it most.

IF YOU ARE IN NEED:

Please email [email protected], tell us about your situation and how a free month of the be.come project will be helpful. Applicants will be put on a waitlist and as gift cards come in, we will distribute on a first come, first serve basis. PLEASE only apply if you are in need. We know this goes without saying but we are trusting you to make the right choice to ensure this goes to the right people.

We are in this together and if something as simple as movement can help people keep their sanity, we want to be part of that. Love you all oh so much.

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March 12, 2020September 21, 2021

meet your demos ll martin & elianna

Martin shares:

When did you start be.coming?

I had always felt self-conscious about working out until I started the be.come project. It has been 6 months since I signed up and I haven’t looked back yet. It’s definitely been the best decision I have ever made.

When I first started, I was doing the routines every other week. I felt like I wasn’t getting it right or that every move I was doing was off, but by watching the tutorials and reading about everyone’s experience online, I was able to gain the courage and confidence to do the routines pretty regularly. I have never felt so good about working out or so supported by a community. The community has been such an important part of the experience, helping me both feel good and learn more about self-acceptance. I love that each routine incorporates new movements with old moves so the motions begin to feel familiar, building my confidence even further. No matter how clumsy I feel or if it takes a while for me to find the correct form, the fact that I feel encouraged through every routine to JUST DO IT meant the absolutely world to me. I am finding so much strength within myself.

My favorite song we’ve used:

I love how you think a song wouldn’t fit into the routine but suddenly I’m doing dog pose to Harry Style’s Sign of the Times – and loving it!

My favorite place to take a session:

I typically do the routines in my apartment either before work or after work. I have done them at the gym once or twice, but could never get fully comfortable working out in front of an audience, so I decided with confidence only to do routines in my home.

Ultimately, there is no better feeling than working out for fun and not worrying about a scale or outside influences.

How would your best friend describe you?

Eccentric and outspoken!

Tell us about your experience as a demo.

One of my 2020 goals was to push myself to do things outside of my comfort zone – and I definitely did that thanks to the be.come project! My experience was amazing because of Bethany’s encouragement, representation and love for helping others be their best selves.

How has the be.come project helped you?

It has helped me to work out more regularly, as well as helping me feel comfortable with my body and with learning along the way. the be.come project is more than a workout app. It’s a community that supports one and another to live a healthier life and to teach each other acceptance and self-love.

Elianna shares:

When did you start be.coming?

I have been be.coming on and off for about 3 months.

How would your best friend describe you in 5 words?

Loving, strong, grounded, rational, and adventurous

My favorite part of a session:

My favorite part of a be.come session is when we finish. The feeling of completing something that has challenged me both mentally and physically is so incredibly rewarding! And of course, I can’t forget about those sweet shoulder kisses!

My favorite thing to wear:

My matching red sports bra and yoga pants. I always feel so powerful when I’m wearing that outfit!

My favorite place to take a session:

My favorite place to do a be.come routine is outdoors on my patio! I love being able to be outside any chance I can get.

Tell us about your experience as a demo.

Being a demo was an incredible experience. Bethany is someone that I have looked up to for ages, and to be able to meet them was a true highlight. For me, this experience reaffirmed that every body is beautiful and that it’s important to stay active because I accept and respect my body and not because I hate it or think it needs to change.

How has the be.come project helped you?

the be.come project has helped me love my body through every season of life. Some parts of life will be harder than others and the be.come project has taught me to love up on myself during both the good and bad times.

thanks martin & elianna for sharing! you can follow @martinval95 and @elsodyssey

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March 5, 2020September 21, 2021

international womxn’s day

In case you don’t know about Queen Marsha, let us give you a little background about this hero. After moving to New York City with $15 in her pocket in 1963, only 6 years later she would become one of the leaders of the gay liberation movement when she spearheaded the uprising at Stonewall Inn. Aside from her work defending human rights against New York’s oppressive policing of the LGBTQ+ population, Marsha was a prominent champion of the transgender community. She committed her life to helping homeless, displaced transgender youth find safe spaces. Marsha managed to win over even the most cynical traditionalists in her neighborhood with her kind heart, smile, and love for people. Her fight against violence towards her community is far from over. Still today, the president of the Human Rights Campaign expresses how Black transgender women fall at the particularly toxic juncture of racism, sexism, and transphobia, making them incredibly vulnerable to the crisis of transgender violence.

Marsha knew that the fight would not be over until the LGBTQ+ community received 100% of the rights afforded to other citizens. It is this consideration of who she was and what she believed in that inspired the foundation of the Marsha P. Johnson Institute. MPJI champions the human rights of Black transgender people by elevating, supporting, and nourishing their voices. They saw the need to improve the circumstances of Black trans people who are resisting, struggling to survive, and in need of a community. The Institute’s vision is to eradicate systemic, community, and physical violence that silences the Black trans community from actualizing freedom, joy, and safety.

"PAY IT NO MIND."

- Marsha P. Johnson

On a day that is so important to so many people, we wanted to shine light on a community of womxn that are often underrepresented. International Womxn’s Day should serve to inspire and incite community in all womxn, not just those traditionally recognized as so. We hope the story of this badass activist inspires you as much as it did us. Check out the Marsha P. Johnson Institute for more information on how they aim to uplift and protect the lives of Black trans people.

If you head to our latest Instagram post and share this story, we will donate to MPJI on your behalf. (Don’t forget to tag us!) If you would like to submit a personal donation, you can do so on their website HERE. We’ll leave you with some words about this day from the be.come project founder, Bethany C. Meyers: “WOMXN. To every person who has been held back, shut down, turned away, interrupted-assaulted-abused-ignored for presenting feminine in our society (be it their choice or their genetics), today is for you.”

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February 27, 2020September 21, 2021

the be.come project x ROBINHILL Brand raffle

We introduced you to our client, Chelsea J. Stoneburg, a few weeks back in our “meet your demo babes” post. Chelsea has been with the be.come project since our beta days, is a model on our website, and has even been a demo 2 times now – it’s safe to say that the love is mutual. Chelsea has a company, ROBINHILL Brand, where she hand-paints beautiful pieces of clothing with inspiring and personalized messages. ROBINHILL Brand was created based on the idea that a jacket could act as a piece of armor against negativity and doubt. Chelsea makes jackets meant to empower the wearer & remind them that they are completely enough as is. the be.come project and ROBINHILL Brand are pairing up to raffle off 3 custom-made jackets, with 100% of proceeds being donated to Chelsea’s chosen charity, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness).

GET YOUR RAFFLE TICKETS HERE

what you need to know:

Here’s the ticket pricing:
- 10 Entries for $10
- 30 Entries for $25
- 50 Entries for $35
- 75 Entries for $50
- 200 Entries for $100
With unlimited entries, you can designate your tickets to the jacket of your choice!
Raffle runs from March 2^nd through 11:59PM ET March 15, 2020 and winners will be drawn on March 16, 2020.
Proceeds will be donated to NAMI
There are 3 Jackets from ROBINHILL available for raffle:

“powerful as hell” custom denim jacket (L) – this piece was designed with the be.come project in mind; anybody else leave the mat feeling powerful as hell? Wear this ROBINHILL piece as a constant display of your power. This oversized denim jacket is a faded coral color; making the black & white detailing stand out.

Jacket Value: $225.00

“my own role model” custom denim jacket (3XL) – what if, instead of wanting to be Beyoncé when we grow up, we wanted to be our future selves? This ROBINHILL original was made to remind you that who you are & who you’re be.coming (pun intended) is more than enough. Wear this blue denim jacket with pride.

Jacket Value: $225.00

“total badass” custom vegan leather jacket (L) – …because you absolutely are one. This vegan leather jacket was designed to remind you of the complete & total badass that you are each and every day. Be as bold as the colors in this ROBINHILL jacket & feel good.

Jacket Value: $275.00

NAMI is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness. NAMI provides advocacy, education, support and public awareness so that all individuals and families affected by mental illness can build better lives.

GET YOUR RAFFLE TICKETS HERE

Head to the NAMI website for more information HERE

Check out ROBINHILL Brand on Instagram HERE

*We felt it was very important that this endeavor be a raffle, not a silent auction, in order to give people of all income levels a chance to win, and a chance to support a good cause. A donation of just $10 will get you 10 entries to the jacket of your choice! We hope our efforts to be more inclusive in our philanthropy will end up yielding even more dollars for charity. Please share with your friends and family – the jackets are AWESOME.

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February 20, 2020September 21, 2021

national eating disorders awareness

Contributed by Whitney Hull-Benson

Eating disorders are mental illnesses and are incredibly complex. There is no one “catch all” cause. Each disorder, and why it presents, varies greatly from person to person, and each disorder comes to be through many factors; be it biological, psychological, environmental, or a combination of all three.

The most common, known, and researched eating disorders are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder. However, there are many other examples of disordered eating which are not diagnosable…orthorexia (obsessive behavior in pursuit of a healthy diet), diabulimia (diabetics who restrict insulin for weight loss purposes), strict food philosophies for weight loss that live under the guise of “wellness”, rigid exercise routines and compensatory behavior, compulsive eating habits, harmful practices of heavy food restriction or cleansing when you “eat too much,” or “fall off the wagon” with your diet. Disordered eating habits are all around us.

The landscape of disordered eating is vast and complex as well. Our culture supports and encourages us to live in the uncertainty it has created, to live in fear of food, and to constantly question, if not completely ignore, what our body knows inherently. We are encouraged to wholeheartedly adopt the limited and biased understanding of nourishment our society has created, we are asked to change along with its every whim and new discovery (did you know in the 1970’s eating sugar was recommended for weight loss?), and we are told to blindly follow society’s ableist approach to “optimized health.”

It’s shameful that as a society we primarily learn about eating disorders through the stories of white, small, able-bodied, cis people who are frighteningly thin. These stories are real, and yes, these people deserve medical care, treatment, tenderness, understanding, and the chance to heal. What is unfortunate about this portrayal is that it is vastly misleading and affects the care of people who fall outside of that stereotype. Aka: eating disorders are rarely diagnosed to people in larger bodies…even less so if the patient is a person of color, disabled and/or transgendered. Eating disorders do not discriminate. They affect people of all ages, races, genders, and classes. Until we learn and acknowledge this fact, folks will continue to be misdiagnosed or ignored in our medical system when seeking informed and inclusive treatment.

Eating disorders and disordered eating disproportionately affect those with low socioeconomic status. This often means that LGBTQ+ and BIPOC (black, indigenous, people of color) communities are unfairly affected. Food scarcity can create abnormal eating behaviors, as can poor access to fresh food, fast food and affordability. These and many other byproducts of food deserts and low availability can create a host of health challenges. When we discuss eating disorders, we need to highlight the increased physical and emotional stress an individual who experiences oppression faces. This stress takes an incredible toll on the body, so the harm is NOT “just” the emotional relationship to food and one’s body, but also other health markers like blood pressure, digestive problems, depression, mood disorders, sleep problems, depressed immune systems, heart disease, and increased risk of diabetes. This is not exhaustive – the list of health implications when living in a stigmatized body is extensive.

When looking to treatment, not many people who have eating disorders or disordered eating can afford in-patient care, and if one can, understandably, there is a deep mistrust of our medical system. The experience a person has in medical settings differs greatly depending on the body that they show up in. This means that, more often than not, oppressed folks do not get the care or support that they need, let alone the proper diagnoses. Moreover, what happens when you have an eating disorder and are in fat body? *I use “fat” as a descriptive word* A fat person is much less likely to get the same care and concern in the treatment of an eating disorder that a thin bodied person *again I use thin as a descriptive word* is going to get in the treatment of an eating disorder.

"Eating disorders are a social justice issue."

- Gloria Lucas @nalgonapositivitypride

It is appalling that what is diagnosed as an eating disorder or disordered eating behaviors for a thin person is often prescribed by a health professional to a fat person for a health concern that is not correlated to their weight, as most if not all are not. This is called the weight bias or weight-based discrimination.

It is important to say that for many folks an eating disorder can begin as a coping mechanism. On the onset, the behavior may invoke a sense of control and autonomy, or it can be an escape or a numbing from a life experience, be it past or current. It is common for there to be co-occurring mental health challenges at play like anxiety, depression, substance abuse, obsessive compulsive disorder, and PTSD, just to name a few.

Eating disorders are complex and multifaceted. It is worth noting that they cannot be “cured” by self-love reminders on social media alone, though curating your feed is one of my first lines of defense for those who are struggling.

According to NEDA, over 30 million people in the United States suffer from eating disorders, and those are just the folks who actively seek professional help and are properly diagnosed.

Our newfound “health optimization” obsession (aka wellness culture) is making this all much more complicated and much worse. The terrifying truth of wellness culture is that it is diet culture, rebranded. This makes it more palatable to the masses and more insidious in nature. I’m willing to bet that the new “wellness” lifestyle brand showing up in your feed is still pushing the agenda that thin = health and fat = lack of health, and that we are in complete control of how our bodies look. Eighty percent of our body’s size and shape is determined by genetics. Why do we allow for variety when it comes to nature, animals and other cultures, but in our white patriarchal system we continue to hold fast to a singular standard of beauty and health?

The thin white ideal is making the vast majority incredibly unwell.  

There is no neat and tidy way to discuss eating disorders. They are terrifying, isolating, all-consuming, subliminally and not so subliminally encouraged. They are fueled by capitalism, white normativity and “beauty” as social currency. It’s a slippery slope from disordered eating behavior to full-blown eating disorder. I believe that the vast majority of people have experienced disordered eating at some point in their lives or know someone who is severely affected by this backwards, unethical health paradigm.

- Would eating disorders exist if fatphobia didn’t exist?
- Would eating disorders exist if we were taught to listen to our body’s needs, wants and desires?
- Would eating disorders exist if being thin and “beautiful” didn’t also equal social currency?
- Would eating disorders exist if there were true health equity?
- Would eating disorders exist if all spaces were accessible, and if we were encouraged to honor and be proud of all the unique and varied ways we show up in this world?

Eating disorders are complex.

If you are currently struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder, or know someone who is, please reach out to a professional who can assist you. I suggest looking for therapists, counselors, dieticians and nutritionists who specialize or focus in eating disorders and disordered eating. Look for those who work with or are certified in Intuitive Eating, HAES, and Body Trust.

Please visit my website for more information on my approach www.innatenutritionist.com. I offer free consultations, 20% off appointments for be.come project folks, and a sliding scale if needed. I offer appointments online or in person in Portland, Or. I am also happy to help you find a practitioner in your area who might be a better fit depending on your needs etc.

You have the right to define health as it pertains to you, and you have the inherent right to love and live fully in the body you have, just as it is.

Resources

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/screening-tool

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

Books

The Body Is Not An Apology – Sonya Renee Taylor

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body – Roxane Gay

A Hunger So Wide & So Deep: A Multiracial View of Women’s Eating Problems – Becky Thompson

Intuitive Eating 3^rd Edition – Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch

You Have the Right to Remain Fat – Virgie Tovar

Pleasure Activism – Adrienne Maree Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown

Beyond a Shadow of a Diet – Judith Matz & Ellen Frankel

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February 13, 2020September 21, 2021

a love letter ll from me to me

Dear Me,

I know today you might feel alone. You might feel lost or undeserving.

Maybe you woke up and asked yourself, “Am I enough?” or “Am I worthy of my own love?”

Maybe you can’t answer those questions…at least not yet. Maybe you’ve avoided asking yourself them in the first place, out of fear for the answers you would give. Maybe, secretly, you’ve wondered whether you deserve to have the life you covet. And maybe, just maybe, you’re still learning what love, specifically self-love, means to you.

They say it takes 10,000 hours to master something and we believe them when it comes to playing an instrument, discovering a new language or picking up a sport. But when it comes to learning to love ourselves, we expect it to be inherent. The truth is, it’s a process. And like many skills and passions we will perfect in our lifetimes, it will take incredibly hard work and relentless practice. It will likely happen slowly, maybe when you’re not paying attention, but day by day you’ll come closer to finding your value. Seeing your faults but choosing to advocate for your strengths. Celebrating the things you do right and forgiving yourself for the times you fall short. Finding compassion for yourself when you couldn’t find it within you to treat yourself with kindness. The same kindness you so often show to your family and friends.

What would happen if you spoke to yourself with the same gentleness and sincerity as you do the people you care for?

Why is the love we give to others so different from the love we show ourselves? When someone you love is having a bad day, you’re the first person to jump up and assure them that they haven’t failed and they haven’t disappointed. What would happen if you spoke to yourself with the same gentleness and sincerity as you do the people you care for? In what ways could your life get better with a simple act of grace?

On this day about love, and every day moving forward, I challenge you to be honest about how you want to spend your days and who you want to spend them with. And I encourage you to make sure you’re always on your own list.

You are enough. You are worthy of your own love. Let this letter serve as a reminder. And if you still need more time to get there… If you need the full 10,000 hours… Take it. Take what you need. I’ll be waiting on the other side.

Love,

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February 6, 2020September 21, 2021

meet your demo babes ll chelsea & laurie share

Chelsea shares:

How long have you been be.coming?

I’ve been be.coming since the beta project!

Tell us about your experience as a demo babe.

This was my second time being a demo and, somehow, it was even more exciting than the first time. Bethany and their team made me feel completely comfortable and strong in my body at every turn. There is a palpable energy in the studio that is really extraordinary. Everyone is there working towards the same goal. We were all working together to make this thing happen. It was simultaneously exhausting and empowering, which is hard to accomplish!

On top of that, this experience was special to me because Bethany showed how much faith they had in me as a business owner. Getting to collaborate with the be.come project and give back in the process was more than I could have asked for. From the start, Bethany was a total champion of mine, which truly made all the difference.

How has the be.come project helped you?

I still find new ways that the be.come project has helped me even after all this time. Some days, it helps me to manage my stress. Other days, it reminds me that I am completely enough in this body that I was given; and truthfully, some days, I do the routines and finish just as annoyed, angry, or sad as I was when I started. This reminds me that there is no wrong way to respond to moving your body, which I think is important too.

How would your best friend describe you in five words?

Fearless. Resilient. Selfless. Energetic. Genuine.

What is your favorite…

be.come move – The twisted side plank will forever amaze me.

part of your be.come session – It really is crazy how incredibly therapeutic kissing your shoulders or thanking your body for just moving that day can be.

thing you see in a be.come session – Every body type out there is represented.

Laurie shares:

How did you find the be.come project?

I followed Bethany through their time at SLT, during which, I tried to talk myself into going, but decided against it because I convinced myself I would end up a pretzel on the transformer.

Fast-forward a few years, I saw Bethany had started an in-studio class here in NYC and once again was working up the courage to go in. So on November 14, 2017, I took the plunge and stopped by their class. I enjoyed myself so much that I quickly returned. I was borderline fainting in class 2, but was reassured by Bethany not to be embarrassed, and to keep trying even if that meant taking breaks. I’ve been with the be.come project since before the app and I’ve loved it for that reason…its ok to take a break; it’s normal to need to do a move in an alternative way if that’s what your body needs; it’s ok to wear what is comfortable; it’s ok to be nervous; it’s ok to wobble; it’s ok to just be you.

How has the be.come project helped you?

CONFIDENCE!!!

Tell us about your experience as a demo babe.

I was lucky enough to take part in the photo shoot in April of 2018 before becoming a demo babe. The photo shoot was the most out of the box thing I have ever agreed to, but it was amazing connecting with other be.comers, and we are still friends to this day. Going into both the photo shoot and the demo shoot, I felt nervous, anxious, and scared of how the world might judge me or my body. They are very intimate experiences; in one instance, I was in a bra and underwear, and in the other, I was on video where every misstep I made was being captured. There was no hiding. Fortunately, Bethany has this innate way of putting your mind at ease with their constant encouragements, and so everything just fades away. Leaving both experiences, I felt strong, free, and confident in not caring what people would think; it wasn’t for them, it was for me.

What is your favorite…

be.come move– facing the side, arms in prayer, back leg bent, front leg straight with the foot flexed.

part of your be.come session– the bridge because you are halfway there!

place to be.come- In-studio with Bethany

thanks chelsea & laurie for sharing! you can follow chelsea @robinhillbrand and laurie @chickenstix104

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January 29, 2020September 21, 2021

humans we admire ll sophie faulkenberry

In the third installment of our series, humans we admire, the be.come project spoke to Sophie Faulkenberry, an actress, trainer, and all around badass who has been battling an aggressive form of Lymphoma over the past months. Here is what she had to say.

jaime: When you were first diagnosed with cancer, what were your initial feelings towards your body? Did you struggle to overcome any anger or resentment towards it?

sophie: When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was shocked, confused, and angry; yet at the same time, I felt this sense of relief in knowing that I was right to listen to my body. My body had been telling me for over three months that something was wrong. I had gone to the ER three times before a doctor took my pain seriously and didn’t write it off as muscular pain from overexertion. I was proud of my body for doing everything it could to signal to me that something was wrong, and I was lucky enough to know my body well enough to understand that what was going on was not the result of overwork in the gym. I have always been extremely active, whether it is dancing, running, taking classes, or training in the gym: working out has always been my escape.

I was in the best shape of my life when I was diagnosed and had been training intensely 6 days a week until the pain from the cancer spreading became too much. There was no anger or resentment towards my body when I was diagnosed because I knew that it had done everything it possibly could to stay healthy. There was also this sense of knowing that my body needed every bit of positive energy that it could get because it was about to go to battle with the toughest competitor it had met to date. When you are faced with a disease that is so close to killing you, you don’t have time to resent the vessel that is going to fight with all it has to keep you alive.

jaime: I first found you following the be.come project at the beginning of December when I came across your “A love letter to my body” post. You found the strength it takes to respect your body even in the harshest of situations, even when it would seem impossible to many. Can you tell us a bit about your journey to that point?

sophie: Growing up, I was very active in the dance community and spent my summers enrolled in ABT and Atlanta Ballet’s summer programs. I then went on to study musical theatre at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland. After graduating and moving to New York, I became a personal trainer to try and stay in shape and make money as I was pursuing my acting career. Dancing, acting, and training, are all avenues that put your body and your physique under a microscope. I spent years working out with the focus of reaching an aesthetic that others expected of me, rather than focusing on the mental and physical benefits that working out afforded me. I would become stressed if I missed a workout and would push through sickness in order to get to the gym. Although I actively recognized working out as a huge stress relief, I also attached stress to my workouts because of the fear that my body would change for the worse if I missed a day.

When I began treatment, I hadn’t worked out for two months because I was in too much pain to even walk. I was diagnosed with a very rare type of lymphoma, which is also the most aggressive type of lymphoma that exists. The nature of the cancer meant that all of my chemotherapy treatments were that much more aggressive and required in-patient stays in the hospital. My body took a beating every day as it was pumped with drugs whose job it was to kill everything in sight. The week that I was diagnosed, my fiancé and I came up with a daily affirmation: “I am strong. I am powerful. I am a warrior.” I would sit in my hospital bed and rub each part of my body and tell it how amazing it was doing, how proud of it I was, and how thankful I was for it surviving and fighting with everything it had.

On the tail end of each cycle, I would feel ok enough to try and move my body. I would either do the be.come routine, or teach myself a barre class, or even use weights that I had in my apartment. Knowing that my body was in a constant state of war and yet still managing to carry me to and from doctors’ appointments and even allowing me to do light workouts, made me beyond proud. My body is strong. It is powerful. It is a warrior. My body was literally saving my life and yet still expending energy that it shouldn’t have had, allowing me to stay grounded and engaged in activities that for twenty minutes let me feel like I didn’t have cancer. Although a lot of anger was attached to my diagnosis, none of it was attached to my body. If anything, I learned that my body was so much stronger than I had ever thought and its resilience in the face of such a terrifying and life threatening diagnosis surpassed my every expectation.

jaime: What would you say was something unexpected you learned about yourself in the past 3-4 months? What did you learn about the people around you?

sophie: The last 3-4 months have been filled with many unexpected realizations. When I was diagnosed and decided to share my journey and treatment on social media, I began to receive a lot of messages that expressed how brave I was or how inspiring I was. In a way, when I received those messages, there was almost a smidge of frustration because I interpreted those messages as people thinking that I had a choice in this. Was I brave because I was choosing not to die? Was I inspiring because I decided not to crawl into a hole for four months while I underwent the hardest challenge that I had faced in my 26 years of life? There was no choice in this. The choice was either dying or going through chemo and giving my body every opportunity to survive. Did that choice to live make me brave? A sentiment that I’ve shared with other people going through treatment is that a lot of people’s reactions to your diagnosis are ones of self-preservation. They want to know what you did to possibly have gotten this disease; for example, “did you use Johnson and Johnson baby powder when you were child?” or “do the doctors know what you did to get this?” or “have you watched the Netflix documentary on plant-based diets? Your body needs all the help it can get.”

"I would sit in my hospital bed and rub each part of my body and tell it how amazing it was doing, how proud of it I was, and how thankful I was for it surviving and fighting with everything it had."

Although I was exposed to these very understandable sides of human preservation, I was also shown the absolute best sides of humanity. My family, my close circle of friends, and even people who I’ve never met but who have followed me on social media, showed up for me every single day. They went out of their way to do anything to make this journey easier for me. I’ve never felt closer to some of these people in my life and I am eternally grateful for everything they’ve done for me. Whether it be answering my sister’s Instagram message and coming to the hospital to cut off all of my hair and dye it purple even though you’ve never met me, or flying to New York from London just to sit in bed with me and watch ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ and eat potato chips and drink ginger ale, or taking time out of your day to do a photo-shoot with me to try and show me that I am still feminine and beautiful and powerful with or without hair, or even putting on tuxedos and ball gowns just to go to the infusion center to celebrate finishing treatment. These people put me first every single day for the last 3-4 months and their truly selfless nature is the most inspiring thing in this whole journey.

As for things that I’ve learned about myself… Besides my newfound appreciation for my body, I’ve also learned that it is ok not to be ok. As clichéd as that sounds, it has been a sentiment that I have carried with me throughout treatment. When I was diagnosed, a wise friend told me that courage does not exist without fear. Allowing myself to feel everything, and not try and push down emotions, has revealed sides of myself that I did not know existed. I have never considered myself a brave person because I’ve never been put in a position where I’ve really felt that bravery was needed. At the tail end of this journey, I am beginning to realize that the bravery that people told me I had, was not the bravery to share my journey, it was the bravery to show up every day for myself even though I was terrified, and to not let that fear of losing completely overwhelm me.

jaime: What can the be.come community do to either help you on your journey or help others in a similar situation as you?

sophie: Be kind. Everyone, whether they are dealing with a cancer diagnosis, or simply dealing with a bad day at work, is just trying to survive. With social media especially, you only see a sliver of that person’s life. Although I shared a lot of my diagnosis and chemotherapy journey with Instagram, there were a lot of moments, especially the ones laden with fear, that I did not share. Also, understand that there is no reason to push blame onto people for things that you don’t intimately understand, and even if you do, blaming people for the things in their lives doesn’t help or encourage anyone. Showing up for people, however, does help. The amount of messages that I received that didn’t involve questions of “what did you do to get this?” but instead were messages expressing the simple sentiment that they were following my journey and sending me positive energy, really made those hard days a smidge easier. The smallest gestures of positivity can really turn someone’s day around, because you may not know how much they needed that encouragement.

Be kind and be gentle and be proud! Don’t only show up for other people who may be dealing with hardships, but show up for yourself as well. Show up and be proud of everything you accomplish everyday. Even if they may seem like small accomplishments to you, they may be huge achievements to others.

thank you sophie for sharing! you can follow along with her journey @justmycupotea

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January 23, 2020September 21, 2021

one year of be.coming ll a check-in

We couldn’t be happier to have such wonderful clients who find this project and use it to uncover the strength and peace that has always lived in their minds and bodies. Last week, Marissa sent us this message on Instagram sharing her excitement about reaching 1 full year with the be.come project. Happy 1 year, Marissa!

January 15, 2020 marks one year since starting the be.come project. Right now, I have tears of deep gratitude streaming down my face for all the beautiful ways be.coming has helped me shift perspective. It has helped alter my perception of movement and its purpose. It has adjusted my thinking from, “I have to power through this workout because I want to lose weight and lower my BMI (total BS),” to “I want to move my body because it feels good.” I find myself really tuning into my body and noticing that I need movement to release tension and stress. The be.come project has shifted how I speak to myself and how I value my precious, powerful body. The change from “I hate how my stomach looks,” to “look at what my body can do. It is so strong!” Of course, as with anything, it is all a work in progress, but all of these shifts have been life changing. Truly. This is the first movement routine I’ve stuck with for a full year in a decade. It has made me fall in love with movement again.

Today was a hard day at work, and when I got home I was feeling physically and mentally exhausted. Nevertheless, one of the first things I did was get out my mat and be.come. I knew it would help me feel more grounded, centered, and capable. I knew it would help me release the anxiety and frustration of the day. I knew it would help me come home to myself and give myself the love I needed.

That’s exactly what it did.

By the time I got to the left leg series, I was crying and the tears didn’t stop flowing until the shoulder kisses. The tears came from a place of pride and inner strength. I was so proud of myself for moving my body and challenging myself. Even after a long, draining day. So yeah. All that is to say thank you. What you have created is truly magical.

thanks marissa for sharing! you can follow @marissa_frances_manza and read her first Pour Your Heart Out HERE

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"PAY IT NO MIND."- Marsha P. Johnson

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national eating disorders awareness

Contributed by Whitney Hull-Benson

"Eating disorders are a social justice issue." - Gloria Lucas @nalgonapositivitypride

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a love letter ll from me to me

What would happen if you spoke to yourself with the same gentleness and sincerity as you do the people you care for?

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humans we admire ll sophie faulkenberry

"I would sit in my hospital bed and rub each part of my body and tell it how amazing it was doing, how proud of it I was, and how thankful I was for it surviving and fighting with everything it had."

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one year of be.coming ll a check-in

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"PAY IT NO MIND."

- Marsha P. Johnson

"Eating disorders are a social justice issue."

- Gloria Lucas @nalgonapositivitypride