This past year, the be.come project has been on a journey of finding body neutrality. We think you’ve had a similar experience. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
This year has actually been a bit insane for me and not to go too deep but for most of my 20’s I suffered from bulimia so dealing with the ebbs and flows of my now early 30’s (switching jobs, ending a relationship, and trying to raise awareness around my own side hustle The Anti Heel), led to a 15 pound weight gain. What held me together through it all was having the outlet to move my body in a way that made me feel good and strong. I did my best to not define myself by the extra weight or the fit of my clothes but by the commitments I made to myself on the mat. I’m not going to lie, it IS very hard – but it’s a practice of mindfulness and self care, and I really thank Bethany & the be.come project for giving me that space to just move without needing to feel like I was trying to get to a particular body type.
Tell us about your experience being a demo babe? (Were you nervous to shoot, how was the day?)
Oh my goodness, I was such a nervous wreck. I was nervous about everything from the outfits to my ability to actually do all the moves without asking for a 30 sec. break! Also, when I found out Claire would be doing the modifications, I almost cried. Inside I was like, “ummm I AM NOT IN SHAPE ENOUGH TO HOLD THE HARD POSES! K? THANKS!”
The outfits ended up working out fine (ha) and Bethany and the team were incredibly gracious & supportive. Bethany, in particular, really knows how to put their students at ease and they made sure Claire & I felt comfortable. But yeah, it was something so far out of my comfort zone but I knew it was something I needed to do for myself… just like the photo shoot months earlier. Personally, I’ve struggled with body confidence for most of my life and even though I kinda felt like I was “faking it ‘til I make it” I do believe in the moments we feel our most insecure, and we still push forward, we grow the most. And shit, I was so proud that I got through all 4 workouts! I’ve ran 13 mile races and did many a crazy workouts and I don’t think I’ve ever left a session as sore as I did that day. But it felt REALLY freakin’ good.
How did it feel working out to yourself when your routines came out on the app?
I’m a bad liar so I’m not going to say it was easy. I was very shy and was my least active on the app that month. I spent more time analyzing myself and in hindsight, I wish I had appreciated that I had just learned a routine in about 8 minutes and was performing it on live camera. But alas we can be our own worst critic.
Now that you’ve be.coming for over a year, what differences do you notice than when you were be.coming for a few months?
I’m proud to say I’ve been be.coming since 2017, when Bethany first did the test videos is their apartment! I notice that I now always check my breath because I’ve had a tendency to always hold it in. Even in my vocal lessons, my teacher always spent so much time with me on breathing. I also am pretty great at not slouching my weight onto the wrong side and of course keeping proper lunge form. It really is just about muscle memory. I watched the tutorials because I wanted to train my body correctly how to move and so even after taking a break from the app (which actually just happened), going back to it felt like second nature. It also felt SO good to come home to myself.
In a world full of workouts/movement options, why be.come?
Because it was about time a trainer approached “fitness” as a form of awareness of how to properly move your body without the goal of being thin or losing weight.
-be.come routine – oh gosh. I don’t remember episodes but there is one where we do the salute via “Salute” by Little Mix. I also loved a bunch of the winter ones. I hope one day all the episodes are just archived because I actually would love to go back to some of the older ones!
-song we’ve used – “Salute” by Little Mix, “Never Be The Same” by Camila Cabello.
-be.come move – I love a good arm series.
-part of your be.come session – childs pose for when it’s all over, ha!
–thing you hear/see in a be.come session – Bethany’s sass. I love it. Their outfits are also always super chic.
–thing to wear when you’re be.coming – booty short, sports bra and a muscle tank.
–place to take a session – my living room. I stream it to my big screen like a boss.
Thanks so much for @lizupke for sharing! You can find out more about The Anti Heel here.