grateful || melissa shares

grateful || melissa shares

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Dear clients,
This is such a special read. Be sure to go all the way to the end, because wow. Just wow.


And dear Melissa,
I do remember you and I remember how it was one of the first time I had really met my online clients out in public and how amazing that felt. Then hearing snips of your story and pinching myself that I had a hand in it. Thank you for being my client and sharing with us. 

xx – Bethany

I’ve been wanting to reach out since the moment I started be.come, but I could never get the words right; that’s how much this means to me.

I found Bethany and be.come through Nico actually. At first I thought, “cool, fitness. I’d like to try.” I’d always been active growing up, always a dancer but since I became a young adult, movement has become scarce, and I didn’t like that. I tried different fitness routines but nothing stuck. I’d give up because I didn’t come to love anything I tried. Back story; I’ve always had a little tinge of anxiety. I’ve always given myself tough love and pushed through. But at 23, I experienced loss and grief for the first time. And for the first time, I could not push through.

My anxiety left me too scared to leave my house. I have never felt so low, so powerless. I had to explain to my closest friends what was going on in my head, and looking back, I am proud of who I was then. For how I handled it. I kept my friends close, just through the phone. Back then though, I was ashamed. I felt completely trapped in my head. Completely exhausted. I went back to therapy. Once again, avoiding the problems, talking about little things that didn’t help me overcome what I was going through.

And then I thought about Bethany. This was January 2018, be.come was in the beta stage, and I knew I had to do something, something for my mental health.  be.come was something that I completely took to. Bethany, you gave me an escape from my head. If only for 25 minutes at a time, you let me focus on my body. On how I felt. I’m crying as I write this, because of how beautiful be.come is. I think it saved me.

I became stronger. I became more confident. I learned to accept my body for everything it does for me, I felt completely beautiful inside and out. On days when I felt in shape, even more so on days I felt bloated. I caught myself saying things like “oh hello, little stomach roll. You are adorable!” And then, I found myself saying things like “I feel so much happier after working out” and “I’m so stressed, I’m going to be.come to clear my head” and “wow, I feel so good”.

And here I am, over a year later, still be.coming. This has been the only fitness routine I have ever stuck with. Because I am working out for my mental health. I now find myself saying things like “I was so distraught and stressed today, I can’t wait to be.come later.” It is NEVER about ‘I ate too much’. Never. And here’s the funny thing. As I started becoming stronger through be.come, I pushed myself out of the house, out of my comfort zone a little more each week. I’d take myself on self love trips from Long Island into NYC.

One of these trips, I felt a little more anxious than I was used to. I pushed myself, me and my mom were walking from Brooklyn to Queens that day. And guess what. We passed a bookstore along the way. Word. And by chance, Nico was doing a book signing for their new book of poetry. Of course we had to go in. And we did. And I noticed right away, there was Bethany.

Bethany – I am that young girl who went straight up to you trying to find the words to explain how much be.come means to me. I don’t know if you remember, but I always will. Thank you for teaching me to love my body no matter what. Most importantly, thank you for getting me out of my own head back then, and for giving me something to do as an act of self love whenever I feel that sense of powerlessness creeping back in. be.come has started a beautiful journey of self love for me. It was the very beginning of me accepting who I was and figuring out how to be who I want to be. Within the past year, I have done so much that I am so proud of. And those little steps I took to NYC each week? Well, about 6 months ago they took me all the way to New Orleans, a solo self love trip!

I’ll never be able to say thank you enough.

Love always,
Melissa P. 

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strong and centered || heather shares

strong and centered || heather shares

Heather

We received this messages from app-client Heather and wanted to share it with you all (with her permission of course!) because of her can-do, heart-first dive into the be.come project. And we also wanted to take this opportunity to thank you all for taking the same leap of faith as she in joining us. We’re so grateful for every. single. one. of you beautiful souls and we really think many of you will relate to her story – Without further ado, meet Heather!

Hi be.come, I’m Heather.

I was a normal gym-goer for years, and was becoming extremely bored and frustrated with it. The class times rarely worked with my schedule, the equipment was never clean, and eventually it felt more and more like a chore.

I had been following Bethany on Instagram for about a year before they started their own business, and was quickly realizing there were other options than the traditional gym. Their Instagram posts were inspiring me to be more mindful of why and how I exercise, and making me realize my gym routine didn’t match my lifestyle anymore, and that I needed to change it.

One Saturday morning I was dreading going to my normal gym class, and decided to do a trial of be.come instead. After one session, I was hooked. I felt energized, centered, and better than I ever did in my normal classes, and right away I knew I wasn’t going back to the gym.

As someone who is all about self-care and making things work for your own lifestyle, Bethany has designed a program that allows me to exercise before work and begin my day feeling in-tune with myself. Since starting 2 months ago, I feel stronger, happier, and have a heightened awareness that I’m working out for *me* and not just to stay in shape.

I truly recommend this program to anyone who needs to jumpstart their routine and *become* more in tune with themselves. Bethany is so much fun to work out with, and you’ll start to feel more centered and loved than ever before.

Lots of shoulder kisses,
Heather

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showing up || bethany shares

showing up || bethany shares

In January, I was lucky enough to be asked to give a TedX talk at an event with the theme “showing up” and to wrap this National Eating Disorders Awareness week I wanted to share what I wrote with you because this was written for you. And by “you” I mean all of my be.come project clients. With every paragraph I wrote, I thought, do they need to hear this? Will this resonate with them? Am I saying everything that needs to be said when given this opportunity of a long-winded platform? I think the answer is yes, but you’ll have to tell me.

I offered a trigger warning at the beginning of the talk, but I want to offer it here too. I talk about binging, purging and ED recovery and if this isn’t something you’re able to take in right now, I want you to know I understand.

I see you,
I love you,
and I respect your decision to click away and come back at a more appropriate time for you.

I want to start this by asking you, the reader, to take a moment to check in with how you feel. If you’re familiar with the app, you know you can choose from the list of words below or you can submit words of your own.

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For example, because I’m in the middle of a move, I think my words right now are “stressed as hell”. So go ahead, think about your word, hold on to it for a moment, and then let it go. Checking in with how you feel is a great way to know if you are giving your body, your mind, and your spirit what it needs… I learned that the hard way.

I’ve been working in fitness for about 12 years. For 12 years I have been teaching our bodies how to move. I’ve been a lead instructor, a studio manager, a teacher trainer, I’ve taught all over the country with full waitlists and now I’ve started my own brand. But for six of those 12 years, I lived with an eating disorder. Here I was, the epitome of health and secretly I was starving myself or hanging my head over a toilet in fear of food. I’ll never forget a particularly low time in my life. I was at the height of my eating disorder and living in Los Angeles with a toxic boss at work and a toxic relationship at home. Each morning I would start with a sugary dessert and three shots of espresso and that’s all the “fuel” I would give myself for the day.

One day I came into work, taught my morning block of classes and then started on my day-to-day tasks as the studio manager. I hadn’t eaten a proper meal in several days and I started to feel hungry, which was a terrifying feeling for me at the time. So I walked to the market next door and bought some grapes. Hunger and malnourishment took over and I started eating handfuls of grapes telling myself that grapes weren’t fattening and this time I would keep them down. Within 30 minutes I was violently ill. I didn’t have to make myself throw up this time, they came up on their own. I’ll never forget holding on to the toilet uncontrollably purging, and crying at the realization that my stomach could no longer handle even the simplest food.

I was hungry, starving, and I couldn’t eat. You would think at this point most people would take a sick day but my afternoon classes were starting soon and the show must go on. I peeled myself off the bathroom floor, splashed some cold water on my face and turned on a smile for my clients who were arriving. I spent the next two hours coaching people on how to flatten their stomach and engage their inner thighs and properly prep for bikini season which was right around the corner.

I would love to tell you that I felt ashamed by my deceit, being a fitness professional who couldn’t even eat grapes, but I didn’t. I thought this was normal. You don’t go to a dentist with crooked teeth and you don’t go to a fat fitness instructor…or so I thought. The theme of the TedX conference I spoke at was showing up – which I think was an interesting choice of words because we can Show Up for someone in a supportive way and we can also Show Someone Up in a divisive way. And looking back on it I realized, I was trying to show someone up by being the skinniest in the room but I wasn’t showing up for myself. Yes, I was showing up for how I looked, but no, I was not showing up for how I felt. And in turn, I was teaching the same thing to my clients.

The idea of working out is such an interesting concept to me. Clients come to me and say they want abs like Jada, a butt like JLo and arms like Jen, but they don’t get those things in one session, they don’t get those things in ten sessions, in fact, they may never get those things at all because our body and it’s shape is uniquely ours. It doesn’t belong to Jada or JLo or Jen. If you paid someone to clean your house, and when they left your house was still dirty, you wouldn’t hire them again. So why do people give their fitness instructor so many chances? The reason is because we evoke a feeling. The workout is surface, it’s what’s on the outside. But the experience is internal. The feeling of strength, accomplishment, having someone who believes in you, the endorphin release, the ability to feel powerful even if it’s only for a short amount of time — this is the true reason why we come back for more.

Why do we stop exercising? Well I believe it’s directly correlated to our motive. “I’m so fat, I have to lose weight”. The motive came from a negative place of self worth and when we start from a negative place, it creates a sense of dread. And if you dread something it won’t be long before you stop doing it.

About four years ago, my journey to a healthier self began. I started by tossing my old rule book and my bathroom scale. I gave myself permission to eat – dairy, meat, carbs, sugar — whatever. I stopped working out for any reason that involved weight loss, such as “I ate too much this weekend”. Instead I exercised to feel empowered, centered, clear headed. I released the idea that scolding myself would make me a better person and replaced it with the idea that comforting myself would make me a better person. I stopped trying to be body-positive and instead worked to become body-neutral; meaning some days we feel positive about our body and some days we feel negative about our body but all days we respect our body.

And somehow it worked. It took time and a lot of practice but slowly I saw my mindset begin to shift. The desire to starve, binge and purge began to slip away – and that’s not to say every day is easy, but at least now I’m able to cope with it. But the biggest change that happened was my ability to show up for my clients. Not for how they look, but for how they feel. And that would have never happened if I didn’t first start by showing up for myself. Let me ask you this — how often do your workouts come from a place of guilt? How often do you tell yourself you’ll be happy with your body once you “fix” something? How often do equate your self worth with how you appear on the outside instead of how you feel on the inside?

Body dysmorphia does not discriminate. It affects people of all sizes, all colors, all genders and all socioeconomic backgrounds. We have been fed an idea for generations that we need to look a certain way in order to be valued as people. And the saddest thing is that no matter how much we alter our appearance or our size, we will always find something else that needs fixing. That’s how they design it. But together, we have the power to change that. We have the power to defy beauty standards simply by celebrating who we already are.

At the end of each be.come session, we do two things. We once again check in with how we feel – maybe it’s the same, maybe it’s different, maybe it’s better and maybe it’s worse – all that matters is that it’s honest. And then as an act of self love, we give our shoulder a kiss. So right now, choose your word, hold onto for a moment and then as you kiss your shoulder – let it go.

love you long time
xo, B

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app update ||

app update ||

Imprimir

Hi be.come babes! Here’s the deal. As we have been updating and improving our technology, we have moved to a new app server (yay!). This doesn’t technically mean much for you except that if you do not update your app to the newest version by 2/28 your video will not play.

Many of you probably have automatic updates on your phone, so you may have already done the work without realizing it. To be extra sure, head to your app store, search the be.come project and check for any updates (the newest version is 1.1.6) If on 2/28 your video does not play, you missed a step and need to update!

As for our web experience. We are still plugging away on this and are closer than ever to completion. Right now, we are flushing out bugs and making a few design improvements (just wait until you see it, it’s BEAUTIFUL!). In the meantime, if you are needing to view your routine on a bigger screen, WE. CAN. HELP! Just email [email protected] and provide the email you signed up with. We will send you an external link to view the routines until the web experience is ready.

I truly can’t thank you all enough for your continued support, dedication and love. We ran some numbers and I’m proud to say our retention rate and conversion rates are BANGING. Like omg-wow-I-love-you-you-love-me-hell-yes. Okay that’s all. Go update!

xx – Bethany

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no wrong way || jenn shares

no wrong way || jenn shares

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This message came to us a few weeks ago and we haven’t stopped thinking about it since! Our favorite part are her last few lines, gotta love a babe who gets us. Thank YOU for sticking with us, Jenn, your words will speak to more people than you know.

I made it through the running plank at the end without stopping! For me, this is everything.

I got married New Year’s Eve of 2017 and basically went on my honeymoon and never stopped. We both just never stopped binging and treating ourselves and for the past year I have felt it in my everyday life. I’ve struggled to find enough energy to do things or look in the mirror and feel good about myself.

I’d somehow lost all of my confidence in a year where I should’ve and was my happiest because I married my best friend.

For the first three weeks of having the be.come project app, I only watched the routines. I felt sluggish, unmotivated and scared to begin. I just couldn’t get there. Finally the fourth week I be.came once (I had to stop a few times) but felt okay – almost “good,” by the end.

And then today I saw the notification for the new routine, and I decided that I owed it to myself to go into this with a positive mindset, knowing that I’d feel better afterwards.

I actually got through the routine! And by the time I was kissing both my shoulders, I was doing it with a genuine smile on my face, which I was so not expecting.

So thank you, Bethany and be.come.

Thank you for giving me this feeling and helping me ease into my journey. I don’t feel ashamed, I don’t feel like I started the wrong way. I just started.

– Jenn

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loving the newest me || emily shares

loving the newest me || emily shares

Emily O shares

I came to be.come early 2018 because I’d seen Bethany on Instagram and was really fascinated by watching somebody with such control of their body. The deliberation and obvious power in each movement was so cool to see and I remember thinking “if I could manage even the smallest bit of that, I would feel 1000 times better than I do now.”

Flashback to 2016, the year my body began to feel not my own anymore. After years of training in the gym, feeling like I had control over my body, I was suddenly faced with feeling like my body had betrayed me. I had surgery which resulted in me being diagnosed with endometriosis after a year of unsuccessfully trying to fall pregnant. We fell pregnant pretty quickly after having the endo removed, but sadly it was an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in a second surgery within 2 months of the first one. The stress and sadness kicked my endo into high gear and weight gain followed. This only served to intensify feelings of hate and betrayal toward my body.

2017 rolled around and I was knee deep in my university degree, desperately trying to fall pregnant again, and dealing with almost constant pain and fatigue thanks to the endo. Another endo surgery, another pregnancy; this time ending in a miscarriage. My body couldn’t seem to catch a break.

So when I came across Bethany, I was the lowest I have ever felt about my body; I had zero faith in its ability to do anything. The gym used to be my happy place, but was now scary and unfamiliar. Something about be.come felt like home. I joined at 3am one morning in early Jan 2018 while I was laying awake contemplating the year ahead. I decided to switch focus. Instead of obsessing over pregnancy and hating my body for its perceived failures, I was going to focus on teaching my body how to move and feel good again. I followed the be.come routines almost daily for all of January….and on Jan 30th, I found out I was pregnant!

I continued be.coming throughout the first few weeks of pregnancy, and then the nausea hit. Any kind of postural change resulted in dizziness and waves of stomach churning. So I decided it was not time to push myself. I decided to relax and give my body what it needed and find a way to stay active without making myself sick. I ended up going on daily long walks and practicing gentle yoga. I continued moving all the way up to 41 weeks of pregnancy, and once our daughter was in our arms, I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and confidence that I had done the right thing by my body, and in turn it had done right by me and given me this precious tiny miracle.

I rejoined Be.come in Jan 2019, after giving my body time to heal and recharge after carrying another human into the world. I now realize that my earlier obsession with fitness, my gymrat days, weren’t about health, or really even fitness in any way. It was rooted in wanting to change something about my body. My weight was another way I perceived my body to have failed in some way.

This time round, I’m not moving to lose anything; I’m not trying to reach some goal weight. This time round, movement is the goal, and I’m gaining strength and confidence every time.

Love,
Emily

PS – be.come has helped me to change my life in huge ways, and I have even joked to Bethany before that they helped me to be.come pregnant!

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growing into myself || bobbie shares

growing into myself || bobbie shares

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I wanted to share a little of my story, and thank all of you so much for helping me.

I’m from Salt Lake City, UT and being a queer, fat person in this city can be extremely difficult. I used to work out a lot when I was in high school, I was on the swim team. I blew my knee out senior year so I couldn’t work out as hard as I was, and no one ever taught me how to do an easy workout.

Jump forward almost 8 years and I still don’t really work out. I kept making up excuses as to why, some of them completely valid, others not so much. One of my biggest fears was taking a class that did accept my gender or my weight. The gyms around here are known for the over use of phrases, like, “come on ladies! Go harder.” Or for touching the fat parts of people’s bodies and yelling at them for not having the motivation. And just when I thought I was doomed to get my only exercise from walking to work and standing on my feet all day, I found the be.come project.

I haven’t been doing it for long, but it’s helped me gain back some of my confidence. I can wear whatever I would like and not be poked at. And I absolutely don’t run the fear of being misgendered. Thank you all so much!

– Bobbie

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pure joy || kathryn shares

pure joy || kathryn shares

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I found Bethany online just over a year ago and fell in love with their message of self-love and body positivity. I’ve struggled with body image and disordered eating my entire life. Working out was always something that I used as a punishment if I felt I’d overindulged or if I was trying to quickly lose weight. I’ve tried every fad exercise program under the sun and even trained as a fitness instructor myself, but nothing has made me actually want to work out just for the pure joy of loving my body and enjoying moving it like be.come has.

It’s an ongoing journey unlearning all these deeply ingrained ideas about our bodies, but not only does Bethany provide a fun, beautiful new routine every week that celebrates our bodies, they also (whether intentional or not) guide your mindset to shift how we view our bodies also.

I never thought I would be working out in my underwear and grooving along to great music while exercising, but as the weather in Australia gets hotter I’ve found myself shedding layers as class goes on… Now I just change into my crop and undies when it’s workout time!

During last week’s routine I was dressed just like that when I was holding the final position on my back with my knees up and I rested my hand on my tummy. Its soft and lovely and my sons favourite place to rest his head, but underneath I felt hardness… I had abs! I haven’t weighed myself since I’ve started be.coming, instead I just focus on how good my body is feeling, but this was crazy. I injured my back last year and have a bulging disc in my lower spine, but for the past few weeks the pain has been so much better as has my movement, and this must be the answer why, a stronger core!

The routine finished and Bethany invited us to do our end of class shoulder kisses, I must admit in all my time be.coming I’ve never actually done this but today I gave each shoulder a kiss. A physical representation of the love that is growing for my body, and then as so often happens, the tears fell. Happy tears, to signify the end of a long war against my body.

I’m feeling proud, accomplished, strong and beautiful in my own skin. I am so grateful for Bethany and be.come for being such an important part of my journey. Thank you.

xo, Kathryn

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finding peace || celia shares

finding peace || celia shares

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At 11:02, a call came in from my dad. I knew immediately that something was wrong. My grandmother (the only grandparent I’ve ever known and the women after whom I am named) had passed away. She’d been in the hospital for about a month with serious heart issues. She was 91 has already had multiple major heart surgeries so medical intervention was not an option. I visited her in the hospital and saw how rapidly her health was deteriorating. It shouldn’t have been a surprise but it still felt like an unexpected knife to the heart. The last time I visited she was asleep when I left so I never really got to say goodbye.

I felt hollow and helpless. I had to stay at work but I was having trouble focusing. I’ve written to you in the past about how helpful the be.come project has been for maintaining my mental health, so I decided to do this week’s routine on my lunch break. I normally don’t work out in the office so I stopped in the nearest Duane Reade and picked up a pair of leggings (I wear sports bras nearly every day so thankfully I didn’t have to seek one out). I cleared the floor and pressed play. How I was feeling at the start: heartbroken. I cleared my mind and let your voice and the music guide me. I concentrated on my form and feeling my strength. I didn’t let my mind drift to dark places. How I was feeling after: less empty.

Obviously, I’m still hurting but for 25 minutes, I didn’t feel helpless. I know I’m not going to feel whole anytime soon but I’m really grateful to have be.come for the times I feel powerless and lost.

My grandma was a truly incredible woman. She graduated from college, became a mortician, and raised three wonderful children. She had a wicked sense of humor and a huge heart. Her loss will be felt by many but she knew it was her time and we were gifted with the opportunity to be there for her in her final days and send her off peacefully. I know she will visit us in the years to come. Thank you all for being so supportive and for helping me work through this in a positive way.

– Celia

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falling in love with myself || claire shares

falling in love with myself || claire shares

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I’ve had a complicated relationship with my body for as long as I can remember. We’ve hurt each other in ways neither of us would tolerate from another human being. My whole life, I’ve longed for the day that I’d finally feel comfortable in my own skin, but this past October I celebrated my 30th birthday, and the feelings and criticisms I have toward my body are exactly the same as they’ve always been.

Hating my body so much for so long has been exhausting. It’s taken a massive toll on my mental and physical health. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve tried and failed to develop a steady gym habit or commit to a diet based on depriving myself of the foods I love (hello, French fries) in order to look or feel a certain way. I never understood people who enjoy working out. For me, going to the gym has always been a chore, a punishment for eating too much pizza or having one too many glasses of wine during The Bachelor. It always works for a little while, but it’s not sustainable, and every time I slip I fall into a hole of shame and self-loathing and the cycle begins again.

At the beginning of 2018, I decided to make a change. This was going to be the year I would fall in love with myself. A few months later, I found Bethany and started be.come, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. With be.come, moving my body in challenging ways doesn’t feel like a punishment, but a gift. Never once have I finished a routine feeling worse than when I started. Through the app, I’ve learned to appreciate my body for all the amazing things she can do. I’m constantly amazed by how strong and resilient my body is. I’m learning to love the parts I’ve always viewed as flawed or undesirable. I’m not as concerned that my belly isn’t perfectly flat because underneath it is a strong, powerful core that I’ve worked my ass off for…although not literally. I’ve still got the booty, and I’m okay with that.

Bethany’s messaging has helped change the way I talk to myself. be.come isn’t about fixing the parts of myself I don’t like in order to be happy. It’s about being content with who I am now, and I have nothing but gratitude for Bethany and this beautiful thing they have created.

XO,

Claire

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