on desexualizing nudity

on desexualizing nudity

desexulaizing-nudity

Sexualize, criticize, demonize. The naked female body when seen by eyes. Nipples viewed in playboys and porn but not allowed when baby yearns. If the only time her fleshed is viewed is under the scope of scandalous hues, does it really surprise when she screams #metoo? Take off your clothes, you beautiful thing. Your nudeness to me, it bears no shame.

INTERESTED IN BE.COMING?

try your first 10 days free

ALREADY A MEMBER?

start be.coming now

WANNA SAY HI?

we’d love to hear from you

chelsea: be.coming a model

chelsea: be.coming a model

A little back story/about me:

I know you have eyes and can see me, but here I am – I’m a short fat lesbian with the flattest pancake ass, & comically large boobs. Do I see myself represented in the fitness world? Absolutely NEVER. So, maybe this is the chance to be the representation I’d so love to see!

I have PCOS which is an endocrine disorder that wrecked havoc on my body. In my twenties, I gained an extreme amount of weight very quickly, for seemingly no reason, before I was diagnosed. Couple that with some of the other symptoms – hair loss on the head, hair growth on the chin/upper lip, and acne – sounds fun right – and it created a recipe for me to truly HATE my body. Hate. HAAAAAATTTTTEEEEEEE.

The weight gain was particularly hard because I spent my whole life dancing. I started when I was 4 & never stopped. I spent 8+ hours a day after school dancing, being captain of my cheerleading squad & spent weekends at dance competitions. I took dance classes all through college & did many dance related events with my sorority. I was SO active!

After the weight gain, I couldn’t move my body in the way I was used to & it put me in a really nasty funk for years. I felt like I was out of control & like my body was rebelling against me. It was such a powerless place to be.

Fast forward to November 2017: I was scrolling on Instagram & saw a dance class that looked so fun – all the lights off, party lights on – basically like being in the club. So even though I was scared, I signed up – I figured I didn’t have much to lose. I am SO grateful that I did because those classes have changed my life!

I worked my way up building my endurance & stamina over the past 5 months, also adding in yoga, & am now spending about 2-3 hours daily between yoga, dancing, & PT to address some old injuries. And you know what? I feel AMAZING!

I was traveling a lot in March so I signed up for the Be.come Project because it was something I could do anywhere & it was like a lightbulb went off! Watching/doing those routines (and soaking in the incredible amount of grace, support, & encouragement provided in them) made me adjust my thinking.

I’ve stopped obsessing over how much I HATE how my body looks & started being proud of it for all the hard work it does. 5 months ago I could barely get through 1 hour of class & was exhausted – now I bust through 3 hours with ease! I particularly loved the Be.come routines because they were simple but effective – they showed me that my body COULD do those things, but also if there was something I wasn’t quite ready for, I could modify it to make it work for me until I was ready. It was magical!

Do I love my body? Yes! It allows me to live my dream life in NYC & for that alone I appreciate it. Do I love the way it looks? Hellllllll to the no. But that’s ok – I’m a work in progress & everyday is a new chance to be more gentle with myself.

I’d like to be a part of this to show that you can be fat & active – and maybe even beautiful? I NEVER see my body type represented in fitness, which is sad because I know there’s lots of us out there who are fat, active, & HEALTHY!

INTERESTED IN BE.COMING?

try your first 10 days free

ALREADY A MEMBER?

start be.coming now

WANNA SAY HI?

we’d love to hear from you

on beauty standards

on beauty standards

bethanycmeyers-onbeautystandards

Things I wish they didn’t do…

I wish they didn’t bait for click, “10 pounds lighter” but did you see “up to”? I wish they didn’t “before” now “after”, her thinnest also happened to be her saddest. I wish they didn’t erase and plump, ignoring beauty that exists in bumps. I wish they didn’t tell what they ate, leaving minds to scrutinize plates. I wish they didn’t hashtag goals. I really wish they didn’t hashtag goals. No hashtag goals. Say it together, “I am whole”. I wish they didn’t, but because they do, I STARTED MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS AND I’LL MESSAGE AS I PLEASE.

INTERESTED IN BE.COMING?

try your first 10 days free

ALREADY A MEMBER?

start be.coming now

WANNA SAY HI?

we’d love to hear from you

on working out in my underwear

on working out in my underwear

bethanycmeyers-underwear

No pants will forever and always be the best pants. Which is also part of the reason I’m proud to have created a workout that you can do in your undies or whatever makes you feel your very best.

I often talk about the be.come project being the “anti-bikini-body” workout and I find it intriguing that our bra and underwear have basically the same amount of coverage as swimwear, but the bikini is made for public and panties are made for private.

So you know the backstory, I never advocated for people to workout in their underwear. It was actually all of you who started it. I began receiving messages from women saying they did the workout in their undies in honor of me. And then I started getting messages from women saying for the first time, they looked at their body in the mirror and saw it for where it is now, and not where they want it to be in the future.

One woman wrote and said she hadn’t gotten to her underwear yet but she did workout in a sports bra and saw her stomach and engaged her muscles in a new way. Another woman told me she was struggling with a routine one week, got fed up and finally stripped her pants and shirt halfway through and finished in tears of release.

I never thought our underwear could be such a powerhouse in body acceptance and yet here I sit with an inbox full of messages from people who are half naked, be.coming in their undies and shifting their perspective.

You have until the end of the month to sign up for the march be.come project. Details found in bio link. I’d love to have you and your granny panties join me in changing the conversation around why we move.

INTERESTED IN BE.COMING?

try your first 10 days free

ALREADY A MEMBER?

start be.coming now

WANNA SAY HI?

we’d love to hear from you

alexa: be.coming a model

alexa: be.coming a model

alexa

My name is Alexa. I am 29 year old. I lived 22 years with an undiagnosed celiac disease causing me to gain weight, which led to teasing, which brought on depression and anxiety. I didn’t know that I had toxic gluten levels that were causing these weight and mood imbalances, but I knew that I didn’t know anyone my age who suffered physical and mental pain. I always felt ostracized.

I came from a small country town in upstate NY where I tried to promote individuality (I had a mohawk during high school, wore combat boots, and tutu’s with my plugs). Needless to say, I never fit in.

I am bisexual, I am heavily tattooed, I have body modifications, I have self inflicted scars (from before my diagnosis), I have been the victim of domestic abuse (the peace sign on my ribs is a purple domestic violence awareness tattoo). My clavicle bone and second rib are now permanently displaced from the abuse I endured.

Once properly diagnosed, I was able to regulate my diet to suit my body’s needs. I lost the weight I had gained and am in the best mental state of my life. However now, I get ridiculed for being too skinny or told I need to eat more. This leaves me to explain my condition or say nothing at all. It’s ironic how I got scrutinized as a child for being “overweight” and now as an adult I get scrutinized because I am “underweight”. This just goes to show how much society and our culture needs to change its perspective.

The be.come project has helped me feel less insecure not using equipment in my workouts and instead relying on my body. (I always felt like sports and gyms were the only way to be fit). I have always felt the most comfortable in home, dressed in underwear, upside down with my head on the ground and feet in the air, stretching my body in different manners. I have always been made fun of because I do this daily. When I had roommates they would make fun of me, when I get off planes and do it in the airport, I get stared at, etc. I never understood why it was weird to move myself in a way that felt most natural.

Instagram and social media has been flooded with fitness people who are promoting body building almost like a competition. Promoting unhealthy substances to put in our bodies to make them something else, instead of using what our bodies were given naturally. I believe there is still a stigmatism about working out in an organic manner rather than one revolving around large weights and a Smith machine.
The be.come project is building a community that fights that stigmatism and promotes a healthy, loving relationship with your body and the movements it’s capable of. You (and the be.come) have made me realize that I am not alone in my journey towards embracing my mind, body, and soul naturally.

I just want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being such a positive beam of light and helping others to be.come their own. We live in a society where people are told from their birth what they are and who they are supposed to be. If they don’t fit these very specific roles, they’re scrutinized and are left feeling guilty of themselves. Which is completely ludicrous. I am so grateful that you have inspired woman (and men) to be.come their true selves (despite what they’re being told to be). You are such an inspiration and I wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I (and we ALL) appreciate what you’re doing. It’s truly beautiful. You are truly beautiful.

INTERESTED IN BE.COMING?

try your first 10 days free

ALREADY A MEMBER?

start be.coming now

WANNA SAY HI?

we’d love to hear from you

on starting your own business

on starting your own business

bethanycmeyers-business-owner

I’m looking back at this photo from almost two years ago and smiling. The campaign was with @negativeunderwear and I had to answer a written portion of Q&As. One of the questions was “what do you say you do for a living”. I remember answering that question — what should have been the easiest — last.

At that time I had the vision for be.come. It would be an app, it would be accessible to those without access, it would be bite-sized-crazy-effective workouts, it would be different, it would be inclusive, it would NOT be about weight loss, it would change the way we view our movement and our bodies. However, I did not have be.come yet.

I’ve never wanted to lie so bad in an interview in my life. be.come felt so close and so far away. Part of me was terrified it would never happen and the other part of me could see the future so clearly I didn’t know how others couldn’t. I wasn’t there yet, but I knew it was coming.

And now fast forward to tonight. I’m about to get in bed so I can wake up early and shoot the march be.come project. My second production. My [hopefully] last beta month before we prep the app launch. This moment feels good.

I used to beat myself up for not getting it done sooner. Now I realize it wasn’t the supposed to be then, it was supposed to be now. “Respect the process” has never made more sense.

If you’d like to know how I answered the question…

Q: “When people ask you what you do for a living, what do you say?”
A: “This isn’t an easy question to answer…it often depends on who I’m talking to. At the end of the day, I inspire people to be confident. I teach people how to walk taller, how to enjoy working out and how to acknowledge and praise their progress. I instruct classes but that seems like such a small piece of my work.”

INTERESTED IN BE.COMING?

try your first 10 days free

ALREADY A MEMBER?

start be.coming now

WANNA SAY HI?

we’d love to hear from you

on eating disorders

on eating disorders

bethanycmeyers-eating-disorders

Since the be.come project launched on Monday, my inbox has been spilling over with stories from people about their life challenges, body struggles, injuries, eating disorders, shitty relationships and how they are overcoming these through movement. It’s been a powerful week, and also one that made me realize it’s been a while since I talked about my history of eating struggles.

I battled anorexia and bulimia for many years, starting in college and lasting well into my mid 20’s. Once I won the fight over purging / starving, I was left with a new eating disorder – a mental eating disorder – obsessing over each bite I took and beating myself up over every meal because it was inevitably never good enough.

I wouldn’t eat the day (sometimes two) before I had a photo shoot. I constantly stood in the mirror pinching pieces of my body I didn’t feel were tight enough. When I worked out, I would let the thought of being skinnier consume me until my only motivation came from a place of self hate.

I hoped it would heal. I never dreamed it could disappear. And yet it did. And even though I can’t sum up every little thing that helped me along the way, I can tell you what created the most dramatic shift. I changed the conversation.

I threw away my bathroom scale. I only allowed myself to workout when my reason for doing it didn’t involve vanity or losing weight. I found a nice thing to say about my body everyday. I stopped reading nutritional labels and started reading ingredients. I said thank you to every piece of food I put into my body – even the ones that contained sugar, dairy and carbs. And then I created a business with the same message to help you be.come the same.

I thought it was interesting that I chose this picture to tell you this story. I’m covering part of my face with my hands. In my hands is a crystal representing protection. I’ll let you take that metaphor as you please. To me it shows that our pain and shame can be used for good to help others.

INTERESTED IN BE.COMING?

try your first 10 days free

ALREADY A MEMBER?

start be.coming now

WANNA SAY HI?

we’d love to hear from you

on armpit hair

on armpit hair

bethanycmeyers-armpithair

I’ve wanted to grow my armpit hair for about three years now. I never did because I was certain it would turn off my clients, and being a fitness professional, my pits are on display 24/7.

So when I went to the jungle and knew I would be taking a full month off of teaching, I thought it was the perfect time to go let it grow. And I loved it. It was nice not to deal with shaving, nice not to have the bumps that come along with it, nice to watch the hair go from hard black stubble to soft brown curls.

I always wondered why it’s so rare to find women with armpit hair and why the initial reaction is “ew”. It can’t be because we have an aversion to hair under arms. We see it everyday on men and don’t think twice. The more I thought about it, the more I realized this perception is completely based on societal beauty standards that we unknowingly swear to follow.

When I came back to teaching, I kept the hair. I had enjoyed it for so long I definitely didn’t want to shave it. But the first time I lifted my arms in class to do a move, I felt really self conscious. Like reallyyyyyy self conscious. My face went red with embarrassment. All I wanted to do was grab a razor and go back to the place I felt most comfortable.

But it in that same moment of shame, I felt a wave of defiance. I decided I wasn’t going to shave because of the pressures I felt by what is “pretty” or “acceptable” for women. I will only shave when I hit the moment that I’m ready to do it for ME.

I hope that in sharing this, you’ll rethink the way you interpret what is beautiful. Armpit hair may not be your thing but maybe something else is. I’ve found power in questioning my beauty routine…shifting the focus to what makes me feel best, and not what makes other people happy. In other words, do you. And do it anyway you want. #effyourbeautystandards

INTERESTED IN BE.COMING?

try your first 10 days free

ALREADY A MEMBER?

start be.coming now

WANNA SAY HI?

we’d love to hear from you